Operation Destroy Facebook A Resounding Success!

    Welllllll, sort of. We didn't actually destroy Facebook, but some epic trolling was had. Check it out...

Best Video Game Trailer Evar Evar

Think About It

Destroy Facebook Now!!!

     Another weapon has materialized in my ongoing war against Facebook (a war I happen to be losing, but will fight on regardless). But now you can help. Here's how:

1. Upload the above image
2. Insert it as your profile pic
3. Anarchy!!!

      Protip: As of this writing, there is no facebook gold account. There is still only the regular old crap account. Hence the ensuing anarchy, as everyone (women) will demand that facebook upgrade them to "gold", when there in fact is no such thing. That's when I move in with my DDOS attacks and my pizza deliveries.

This Week In Politics...

     Sarah Palin follows Glenn Beck's lead and teaches a seminar in Iowa this week...

     Obama gets Bel-Aired...

      And Newt Gingrich's wife scares the living shit out of everybody...

    What a week it was. I can't take the pressure of American politics anymore. I'm moving to Lego Nazi Germany.

Happy Sunday

      This is your thought of the day for Sunday.

Nikolai Tesla Called It In 1932

   

Just Needs Music

Timelapse from the ISS. Fucking cool.

Many Goats Will Go Embezzled

It sounds like Bob Dylan after too many electroshock treatments. Awesome.

Disturbing New InternetPhenomenon - Slowed Down Olsen Twins

I always thought they were a little wierd. Slowing them down just proves it.

It Says "I Love Tofu", Pervert

   

The Death Star

The right side is a picture of the same event as the left side, just awesomer

     What a great title for an article, huh? I thought so, too. As you know I try my damndest to keep you abreast of all the scientifical datas and the astronomical anomalies, America, and I know you are going to like this one. From some nerds at NASA:

A nearby star is drubbing its close-orbiting planet with a barrage of X-rays 100,000 times more powerful than what the Earth receives from the sun, a new study has found.

That intense, high-energy radiation is blasting about 5 million tons of matter from the gigantic planet into space every second, researchers said. They made the observations using NASA's Chandra X-Ray Observatory and the European Southern Observatory's Very Large Telescope in Chile.

"This planet is being absolutely fried by its star," said study lead author Sebastian Schroeter, of the University of Hamburg in Germany, in a statement. "What may be even stranger is that this planet may be affecting the behavior of the star that is blasting it."

 The star, which is located about 880 light-years from Earth, is known as Corot-2a. Optical and X-ray data suggest that Corot-2a is between 100 million and 300 million years old, meaning it's fully formed, researchers said. The star's one known planet, called Corot-2b, was discovered in 2008 by the French Space Agency's Convection, Rotation and planetary Transits (Corot) satellite. Corot-2b is about three times as massive as Jupiter, and it orbits very close to its parent star — just 3 percent of the Earth-sun distance (which is 93 million miles).

So if you agree with Michelle Bachmann and you think that God is trying to get our attention via natural disasters (remember her hurricane comments?), well, I mean, get a load of this shit. What if we pass national gay marriage and the Sun just totally obliterates us with x-ray beams? Now we know that it could happen. We had better elect her President just to be on the safe side.

Defection! Republican Staffer Quits, Unveils What Is Already Obvious To Everyone

From the Daily Beast: 

GOP Defector Spills the Beans


Sep 5, 2011 2:51 PM EDT Mike Lofgren loyally served the GOP on Capitol Hill for 28 years. But no longer. Michael Tomasky on what the defection of a Republican staffer tells us about the state of the party.

     

     Many people are buzzing about an article at truthout.org by one Mike Lofgren, a longtime Republican staff aide on Capitol Hill who just couldn’t take the crazy anymore, left his job, and produced this buzzy (and quite well-written) lamentation about his party’s tactics and goals. If you haven’t read it, you must. There was nothing in there that surprised me. I’ve been saying all these things for a long time (as have many others). What continues to dumbfound me is why Lofgren’s assertions are even controversial, because as long as they remain so, “neutral” observers who deny this reality bear some responsibility for the sad shape our politics is in.
     I should say before we get to the gravamen of Lofgren’s case that there is something in pieces like this that is a little bit too convenient for my side: a Republican with three decades of service to his party writes a scabrous attack on them, and it’s eloquent to boot! It makes me proceed with a little caution. On the other hand, James Fallows wrote over the weekend that while Lofgren was unknown to most of us, “among people who have covered or worked in the national-security field, he is a familiar and highly esteemed figure.” Jim being one of the very top journalists in the country, that’s a pretty valuable testimonial that eases the mind somewhat.
      The Lofgren piece is full of harsh observations and accusations, but here’s just a little sampling:

• The debt-ceiling debate was an act of “political terrorism,” in which the GOP concocted a crisis and used it to ensure that the party's unprecedented demands were met. He writes: “Everyone knows that in a hostage situation, the reckless and amoral actor has the negotiating upper hand over the cautious and responsible actor because the latter is actually concerned about the life of the hostage, while the former does not care.”

• The August FAA reauthorization fight was another instance such of hostage-taking: “Republicans were willing to lay off 4,000 Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) employees, 70,000 private construction workers, and let FAA safety inspectors work without pay, in fact, forcing them to pay for their own work-related travel—how prudent is that?—in order to strong arm some union-busting provisions into the FAA reauthorization.”

• The GOP plan to discredit government in the people’s eyes is very conscious: “A couple of years ago, a Republican committee staff director told me candidly (and proudly) what the method was to all this obstruction and disruption. Should Republicans succeed in obstructing the Senate from doing its job, it would further lower Congress's generic favorability rating among the American people. By sabotaging the reputation of an institution of government, the party that is programmatically against government would come out the relative winner.”

• As for belief as opposed to tactics, the party basically really cares only about the rich. Actually, Lofgren doesn’t say “basically.” He says “solely and exclusively.” And he explains how they’ve camouflaged this with talk of protecting small businesses and so on.
     There is much, much more. He’s not very happy either about his party’s militarism, its cynical use of religion, its total opposition to doing anything about the environment, and other matters, but most especially its neo-Leninist posture in which political power trumps everything.
     When Lofgren first started working on the Hill, in 1983, the House and Senate were still full of moderate Republicans—and even Reagan himself was a quisling by today’s standards.
       Some with short memories may ask, how could such a person have been a Republican anyway? Answer: there used to be loads of Republicans like Lofgren. George H.W. Bush and his EPA secretary, William Reilly, put the first serious cap-and-trade proposals on the table. When Lofgren first started working on the Hill, in 1983, we were into the Reagan Revolution, granted, but the House and Senate were still full of moderate Republicans, and even Reagan himself, as has often been observed, was a quisling by today’s standards. And if you want to go back to Lofgren’s youth ... well, Google Thomas Kuchel or Charles Percy.
     I spend a part of virtually every day wondering where all this will lead. Will this fever break in two years? Five? Ten? What if it doesn’t break until, oh, 2028? Or never? The goals of today’s conservative movement are, shall we say, audacious. No public old-age pensions. No public old-age medical coverage. Taxes far, far lower than they are now, especially on that blessed and praiseworthy top 1 percent. Regulations gutted to the point of nonexistence. All achieved through the kind of political-terrorism tactics Lofgren describes. It’s going to take them time to accomplish these things. Our system moves slowly, even for Leninists. But there is no reason to think they won’t keep at it for many years to come.
      Every time I hear NPR (that allegedly socialistic outfit) describe the latest act of terrorism in neutral terms, the reporter taking care to blame “both sides,” interviewing an expert who is prudent enough to know that on NPR’s 501(c)(3) air she must, if she wants to be quoted again someday, hold responsible the mysterious and mostly unnamable failings of the amorphous “system” for this or that Republican hostage-taking exercise, I wonder if these people hear themselves and understand how they’re misleading America. NPR is better than most places, so surely they must, just as many elected Republicans must just as surely be a little ashamed of how they’re acting in public. What can change it? Only a crisis (I mean an actual one) so deep and threatening that even NPR must call things what they are, and even some Republicans must say, “OK, there is such a thing as collective action, and we’d better undertake it.” Until then? More Lofgrens.

Fuck to the Yeah. TL;DR? Republicans are political terrorists that only give a shit about rich people. I've only been saying this for like twenty years, America.

Remember Remember The Eleventh Of September

As Of Right Now, We Most Likely Win

      Why is it we worry so much? Is there some sort of cathartic value to embracing our worst fears, but then have everything turn out just fine? Althought the map for some reason has a key that is hard to read, it's the same old electoral college map (updated by the 2010 census), that we are all so used to. And guess what it tells us? The Republicans are a lock in 24 states, the Democrats in 20. This gives the Dems a lead of 246 electoral votes to the Republicans 200 with 6 states as tossups (our very own Colorado among them) and 270 votes needed to win. Bear in mind that Obama won all of these swing states in the last election, and only needs one big one. He wins Florida, it's over. He wins Ohio and Virginia both, it's over. Etc. So please stop freaking out, America. It is extrememly unlikely (barring extraordinary events) that you will have a president that doesn't believe in evolution next fall.

The Next Internet Superstar

His name is Nathan J Barnatt. And that's Martin Starr from Freaks and Geeks introducing him. Remember, you saw it here first. Well, probably.

Some Dude Ragequits Some Reality Show

Watch 'til the end, when he goes all Donkey Kong...

Meet Teh Tea Party

  Here's a little piece from The Economist about our friends, the teabaggers:

RESEARCHERS at Yale University have been tracking  American opinion on climate change for some years now and showing how it differs according to political allegiance. It has not previously looked at the opinions of respondents who identify with the Tea Party. Tea Partiers, unsurprisingly, tend not to believe in the phenomenon (the 53% who don't believe in global warming just outnumber the 52% who don't believe humans evolved from other animals) and are the most strongly opposed to all sorts of government action on the issue (yet quite keen, like majorities in all sorts of polling, on research into new energy sources). They also distinguish themselves in their assessment of their knowledgeability, with 30% considering themselves very well informed on the issue and a majority happy that it needs no more information on the subject. Where this certainty comes from the poll does not really reveal; when asked about possible sources of information on the subject, from television weathermen to scientists to the government, Tea Partiers were much more likely to react with strong distrust than any other group. However, they were not asked about blogs, and it is interesting that they were far more likely to say they knew about "Climategate", a massive release of e-mails by climate scientists that has been a staple of the blogosphere, than any other group.

TL;DR? Basically, the Tea Party represents a populace with a willfull ignorance of all scientific data which does not agree with their religious worldview. All we can really do now is hope that they're mostly old.

Hot Lesbo Action Coming To NBC This Fall

     To whom it may concern: The rainbow network has decided to air a hilarious new sitcom this fall called "My Best Friend is a Lesbo". At least the title is hilarious, anyways. So does this mean it's okay to use the term "lesbo" now? I thought it was some kind of slur. Ohhhhh, I bet it's one of those things that they can say but we can't, kind of like how you shouldn't use the n-word unless you want to get beaten up by twenty n-worders.

Also, Casey Anthony is still a lot on my mind...

Doesn't This Seem Like A Lot Of Hurrricanes?

Hurricane Katia, who has a sexy name

     So that's Katia, headed straight for the atlantic coast of Florida. Still pissed about that Casey Anthony verdict aren't you, God? Actually, they're hoping it will lose hurricane status before it hits the east coast, but at the moment it's a Cat 3 beast with 120 mph winds. So stop acquiting child murderers, FLA! We all want to get back to normal around here, and your Casey Anthony Acquital-Induced Summer Of Disasters Everywhere has seemed to happen to everyone but you. So watch the fuck out.

*UPDATE*
     So it seems that God's Wrath (as manifested by the tropical cyclones that we call hurricanes) has in fact increased greatly over the last 100 or so years. Some nerds did some research and this is what they found out :

The analysis identifies three periods since 1900 during which the average number of hurricanes and tropical storms increased dramatically and then remained elevated. The first period, between 1900 and 1930, saw an average of six Atlantic tropical cyclones of which four were hurricanes and two were tropical storms. From 1930 to 1940, the annual average increased to 10, consisting of five hurricanes and five tropical storms. In the final study period, from 1995 to 2005, the average reached 15, of which eight were hurricanes and seven were tropical storms.

    This correlates directly in a hundred year rise in sinfulness. And a 1.3 degree rise in global temperature. It really could be either thing thats causing all this, or maybe both together, and I am just an amateur climatheologian after all.

Planking Is Sooooo Eight Weeks Ago

It's time to start batmanning. The bar has been raised, gentlemen.

Spidermeme

This is an uber-popular meme based on still frame shots from a 70's spiderman cartoon that some of us are unfortuantely old enough to remember. It comes from Tumblr. It can get pretty funny.

The Downfall Meme

Downfall meme, also known as “Hitler Finds Out…” or “Hitler Reacts To…” is a series of parody-subtitled videos based on a pinnacle scene from Der Untergang (2004), a German WWII drama revisiting the last ten days of Adolf Hitler’s life and eventual suicide in his Berlin underground bunker. Due to the film’s international success and Bruno Ganz’ haunting portrayal of the Nazi dictator, numerous segments from the movie soon fell fodder to hilarious parodies on YouTube, spawning hundreds of anachronistically subtitled videos of Hitler getting upset over topical events and trivial gossips.


It's been around since 2007 or so, and at one point Constantin Films, the owner of the footage, tried to sue to stop it's use. However, they failed. A couple of examples:

Hitler reacts to the real estate crisis...



Hitler reacts to the song 'Friday'...



Hitler reacts to the ipad...

Play This On Your Computer As You Leave Work Tomorrow

It will entertain the cleaning crew all evening.