Alphawerewolff Is Real, Dude

So, I'm sure you all remember our friend Alphawerewolff, teen werewolf, eye makeup devotee, and victim of a bully named Josh. Who could forget. Well, the other night a little short fella suggested that Alphawerewolff is just an 'epic troll', as they say, or in other words not an actual teenage superfunny/insane fuckin' guy but a very good actor portraying such. So, to help you cope with that notion, here's an introduction to teenage werewolfery in America circa 2011:





That's just so you know that someone can actually say "I just wanna be a teenage werewolf" and not be kidding. And it is hilarious. Hard evidence after the jump...

For The Love Of God, Keep Your Child Off Of The Internet

In my ongoing series studying the effect of the Tubes on children, I will now relate the cautionary tale of Angry Homo Kid. AHK, or Scott Parsons, as this poor bastard is known in real life, got himself memed out by the heartless (and fiercely proud of it) sons-a-bitches of Anonymous. Scottie made three terrible mistakes that brought all this upon himself:

1. He decided to have an opinion about something (in this case Gay Marriage, obviously a topic he is qualified to expound upon, since he is 12) and assumed that it was valid and that people would care about it
2. He uploaded said ill-formed opinion onto YouTube
3. He had the temerity to respond to the trolling, which is exactly what they want/expect

The boring original video has been removed in an attempt to defame himself a little bit, but here is Scottie's response to the (semi-legitimate) haters:



Oh, boy. It actually gets worse. If you want to see the whole drama play out check out ChristianUtubur's channel on YouTube. His account was long ago deleted but will live forever thanks to all the mirrors.

How do you keep your child from becoming a lolcow? Closely monitor their internet usage! The webs are no place for the emotionally underdeveloped! And if you factor in the pedophiles and all the pr0n, it's just really no place for kids. Ignore my advice and pay the consequences. Look what they did to this dude...