If You Get That Plastic Surgery, This Is What You'll Look Like At 85

Take a long, hard look at that before getting that facelift

Meet Maria del Rosario Cayetana Alfonsa Victoria Eugenia Francisca Fitz-James Stuart y de Silva. She's the Duchess of Alba, which is in Spain or somewhere, like, mediterranean. She's 85 years young, baby. It is currently unknown how many plastic surgeries she's had in her life, but it is certainly at least one. So before you deaden half your face muscles with botox again, remember that some things are worse than having wrinkles, America. Oh, by the way that dude with her is her fiance. For real. His name is Alfonso and he is definitely not after her estimated 5 billion (with a b, as in "bitch, that's a thousand millions!") dollar fortune. Honestly, though, could you have sex with her, even if it was for 5 billion dollars? Chicks do it all the time, amirite? I gotta hand it to you, though, Alfonso for leaping on that grenade night after night, all for a chance at 5 billion dollars. It's like some horrible game show, where the other contestants are her 6 kids and all they have to do is look at her, and probably then only at Christmas and on Mother's Day, and they are probably just as much in the running as he is, and they had a long head start at being fawning and obsequious. But at least he has an outside shot. Anyways, botox will fuck you up, so stay away from that shit.