WTF Is A h4x0r, Anyways?

This is a question that needs to be answered in several parts. First, watch the video below. Did you know that your very own child could be one? Does your kid play 'Quake' (if so he's prolly at least 30)? Does he use "Lunix"(lulz)? If so, he is definitely a L337 h4x0r and you should expect the FBI to be raiding your basement by Thursday. Also, your child needs to be male.




Here are some protips from ED on how to tell if someone is a L337 h4x0r:

• Hackers communicate in an encrypted language called leetspeak. ROT13 is also a common way for hackers to talk in "codes". If there is gibberish on your screen, you are getting haxed and you should immediately turn your computer off. Typical hacker cool coding could possibly look like this: a3*900adc9800said90fi()lulz%A)*&)$*)@iov**7o;osaidjfoijioi -- .>/aslkdk.
• Hackers will steal all your Interwebz and Megahertz. Then they will put a one-inch penis on as your Facebook profile picture.
• They all look like this:

Here are some typical victims, explaining the damage that the haxxing of the Internets has done in their lives. Note: you will need to speak Chinglish in order to understand the first one, and have Tubed yourself dressed in a homemade superhero outfit to understand the second.