Check Out The SunHack

LulzSec has apparently weighed in on the Rupert Murdoch Situation by hacking News of the World 's sister publication The Sun (italics added for extra legitimacy) today. They posted a cool, official looking article reporting Murdoch's suicide by ingestion of palladium. Nice.

Kenny Powers Is The K-Swiss MFCEO

This needs no introduction...

Kenny Powers - The K-Swiss MFCEO (UNCENSORED) from Michael Bay

This Is Typical Of What You'll See On eHarmony

This is Cara Hartmann, America. This is he eHarmony video form 4 days ago that was so viral it already got songified by the Gregory brothers. You do not need to see the original to figure out why. I'm pretty sure this is exactly the sort of thing you see on eHarmony every day, though.

Happy Bastille Day!

The Euros need millimeters so they can measure their dicks

In recognition of it's Frankish ancestry le Haineux would like to honor the French on Bastille Day. Thank you France, for french fries, french kissing, french vanilla, the Exocet missile, Les Miserables, and all that effete snobbery. Oh yeah, and by the way, we saved your ass in Dubya Dubya Deuce. Lol.

Please Watch Before Visiting America

Some sweet Engrish instructional videos for Japanese tourists coming to the good ol' USA. I like how the guy in the first one appears to be wearing a bra on his head, which of course means that he is gang affiliated.



I hope that the dance is also involved when you utilize this next one:



And finally this one is for after you inevitably end up blowing somebody away (a common occurence in our great nation):

Beware Saruman's Wily Magicks

Obama Is Gay Satan (I Think)

A driver in Oregon snapped this photo today of the rear end of a camper van containing a citizen clearly on his way somewhere important, like a job interview probably, and sticking it to the man the whole way there. His assertion that the President is uncircumcised queer Satan is most shocking, certainly. Mostly though, I respect the fact that someone is using the old school 'back of your car' method for deliviring questionable political, religious, and sexual beliefs instead of the new school 'Intenet' which already has 10  terrabytes devoted to Obama is Gay Satan, presumably.

Happy Fourth Of July (two days ago)!!!

This message arrives a little late to have much of an impact on this year's fourth of july's drunken biking offenses, but maybe it can help with the rash of them that always come with New West Fest.

4th of July Message From Hipster Shore - watch more funny videos

Live Forever...as a creepy Intellitard

My old friend Warmonger was recently entertaining me with tales from the future. In one frightful vision he talked of a time when we will be able to digitally capture our personalities and live on forever on the intertubes. Well, the future is here...and it is really lame...and a bit creepy.

A new company, Virtual Eternity has been created so that you can upload yourself and your personality to be recreated as an "Intellitar". Good job marketing guy, that is one clever mashup of Intelligent and Avatar. Except you also made it was too easy to mock by adding a "D".

Anyway, I had a lovely chat with the this creepy old lady Intellitard named Lynn. Here is the transcript:

• Lynn: Hello. What can I do for you?
  
• Visitor: What are you doing later?
  
• Lynn: Just seeing if I can help you with any questions you have about VE.com.
  
• Visitor: What time do you get off?
  
• Lynn: It is 9 15 in the morning. The date is, june 24th, 2011.
  
• Visitor: So does that mean a cougar like you wouldn't want to go out for a drink?
  
• Lynn: I am here to help you navigate VirtualEternity.com.
  
• Visitor: I just asked you out...why the cold shoulder?
  
• Lynn: My primary function is to direct you around VirtualEternity.com.
  
• Visitor: What's your secondary function Grandma? Wink wink nudge nudge.
  
• Lynn: I am not designed to respond to that.
  
• Visitor: Clearly.
  
• Lynn: Sometimes it's difficult, ya know?
• Visitor: Um.....What?
  
  So go have fun. There is also a male Intellitard, but he looked like a serial investment banker and less fun than Grammy Lynn.
  

Don't Believe The Hype

Remember, there is no such thing as climate change. And even if there were such a thing, it isn't effected by human activity. And even if it were, it wouldn't impact your life. And even if it did, you should pretend it didn't. Also, please keep shopping.

I Hope Will Ferrel Never Stops Playing George Bush

President Bush Reacts to Osama Bin Laden's Death with Will Ferrell from Will Ferrell

And a classic:

Will Ferrell as Bush w/Jon Stewart from Will Ferrell

The New 'Between Two Ferns' With Will Ferrel

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Will Ferrell from Will Ferrell

Canadians Are Fucking Crazy

As If Manga Couldn't Get Any Lamer...

You didn't think it was possible,but it has happened. Manga is now being utilized to indoctrinate young Weeaboos and Wapanese into Christianity. Behold!

Total lollercoaster. Lets combine two totally fail ideas and see if combining them makes them better. Um, no. Doesn't look like it worked.

Jesus looks like he would totally fuck you up in this one

Moar crapz after teh breakz...

Picture Of The Now

This picture from The Great Vancouver "We Suck At Hockey" Riots Of 2011 caused an international sensation over the last 48 hours or so, because it appears to to show a couple of horny Canucks gettin' it on  right in the middle of riot ground zero. While we here at le Haineux love the idea of it, sorry folks, it just ain't what it looks like. The couple stepped forward and were interviewed by CBC. She had collapsed when the police stormed through and he is talking in her ear trying to coax her into getting the fuck out of there, posthaste. But, for a couple of days there, at least, it seemed like romance reigned supreme, riots be damned. Sigh.

WTF Is A h4x0r, Anyways?

This is a question that needs to be answered in several parts. First, watch the video below. Did you know that your very own child could be one? Does your kid play 'Quake' (if so he's prolly at least 30)? Does he use "Lunix"(lulz)? If so, he is definitely a L337 h4x0r and you should expect the FBI to be raiding your basement by Thursday. Also, your child needs to be male.




Here are some protips from ED on how to tell if someone is a L337 h4x0r:

• Hackers communicate in an encrypted language called leetspeak. ROT13 is also a common way for hackers to talk in "codes". If there is gibberish on your screen, you are getting haxed and you should immediately turn your computer off. Typical hacker cool coding could possibly look like this: a3*900adc9800said90fi()lulz%A)*&)$*)@iov**7o;osaidjfoijioi -- .>/aslkdk.
• Hackers will steal all your Interwebz and Megahertz. Then they will put a one-inch penis on as your Facebook profile picture.
• They all look like this:

Here are some typical victims, explaining the damage that the haxxing of the Internets has done in their lives. Note: you will need to speak Chinglish in order to understand the first one, and have Tubed yourself dressed in a homemade superhero outfit to understand the second.

Kelsy Grammer Gets Pwned By h4x0rs

Some epic troll penetrated Kelsey Grammer's email defenses yesterday, sending the following message to his entire address book: "Camille smells like beef jerky. Goodnight." Grammer followed up with an emergency apology email blaming 'third parties'. Lulz.

How Do You Get Canadians To Riot? Lose A Hockey Game

Angry Canadians took to the streets today after losing the Stanley Cup to Boston 4 to nothing in game 7 of the Finals last night.



And we thought they were so mild mannered! Apparently they are pissed because American teams have had the Cup for 20 years now, and 80 percent of Americans don't even know that hockey is a sport. So Vancouver fans, dumb fucking assholes that we all know them to be, decided to trash their entire downtown area in some sort of protest over all this injustice. Nice, eh?

Children's Books Are Getting Better

LulzSec Takes Down CIA Website Because Some Guy Dared Them To

This afternoon, Lulz Security, an Anonymous hacker splinter group, took the CIA's website down. Why, you ask, did they do this? Because some guy on Twitter called Quadrapodacone got into a flame war with them, where he mocked their hacking abilities for only taking on 'soft targets' like PBS and Electronic Arts."Stop calling yourself hackers, you're giving real hackers a bad name," Quadrapodacone said. He scoffed at Lulzsec's affinity for Distributed Denial of Service attacks—floods of traffic that overwhelm servers: "Seriously... DDoS is not hacking," he twitted. "Here's a challenge... fbi.gov or cia.gov try changing text or something. "Hey jackhammer, get some attention span... we've hit two agency websites already," Lulzsec shot back. Still, less than an hour later, CIA.gov went down. But Quadrapodacone still isn't impressed: "Site up nothing changed... lulz." Lulz Security has since deleted their side of the conversation.

So, yeah, I guess they showed him. In the last two weeks, LulzSec has taken down the websites of the U.S. Senate (twice), FBI, and 4chan. It would appear that LulzSec is an Anon offshoot, possibly the 'Let's Fuck Shit Up' branch or something. The war they declared on 4chan seems to have distinguished them as a seperate entity. What will these guys do next? The Interwebs are waiting breathlessly...