Glennpocalypse Now?

This drawing ties it all together, folks

Well, the party may be over, America. According to numerous sources, when Glenn Beck's contract with Fox News expires in December, he will not be asked to return. Why, you ask, your voice trembling and little tears forming in the corners of your eyes? Well, for a couple of reasons. For one, Beck came over to Fox 3 (long, long) years ago with a big radio audience and had established himself on CNN Headline News, and since he didn't owe his career to Fox, he never swore fealty to them and frequently strays (way, way) off message. For another (more important) reason, over 300 advertisers have now fled his time slot, only to be replaced by sheisty, fly-by-night 'We'll buy your gold' companies, who are attracted to the show by the advertising discounts and apocalyptard theme. Honestly, though, he will be missed, at least by Comedy Central. I will keep you posted on further developments in this tragic tale, America.