Check Out The SunHack

LulzSec has apparently weighed in on the Rupert Murdoch Situation by hacking News of the World 's sister publication The Sun (italics added for extra legitimacy) today. They posted a cool, official looking article reporting Murdoch's suicide by ingestion of palladium. Nice.

Kenny Powers Is The K-Swiss MFCEO

This needs no introduction...

Kenny Powers - The K-Swiss MFCEO (UNCENSORED) from Michael Bay

This Is Typical Of What You'll See On eHarmony

This is Cara Hartmann, America. This is he eHarmony video form 4 days ago that was so viral it already got songified by the Gregory brothers. You do not need to see the original to figure out why. I'm pretty sure this is exactly the sort of thing you see on eHarmony every day, though.

Happy Bastille Day!

The Euros need millimeters so they can measure their dicks

In recognition of it's Frankish ancestry le Haineux would like to honor the French on Bastille Day. Thank you France, for french fries, french kissing, french vanilla, the Exocet missile, Les Miserables, and all that effete snobbery. Oh yeah, and by the way, we saved your ass in Dubya Dubya Deuce. Lol.

Please Watch Before Visiting America

Some sweet Engrish instructional videos for Japanese tourists coming to the good ol' USA. I like how the guy in the first one appears to be wearing a bra on his head, which of course means that he is gang affiliated.



I hope that the dance is also involved when you utilize this next one:



And finally this one is for after you inevitably end up blowing somebody away (a common occurence in our great nation):

Beware Saruman's Wily Magicks

Obama Is Gay Satan (I Think)

A driver in Oregon snapped this photo today of the rear end of a camper van containing a citizen clearly on his way somewhere important, like a job interview probably, and sticking it to the man the whole way there. His assertion that the President is uncircumcised queer Satan is most shocking, certainly. Mostly though, I respect the fact that someone is using the old school 'back of your car' method for deliviring questionable political, religious, and sexual beliefs instead of the new school 'Intenet' which already has 10  terrabytes devoted to Obama is Gay Satan, presumably.

Happy Fourth Of July (two days ago)!!!

This message arrives a little late to have much of an impact on this year's fourth of july's drunken biking offenses, but maybe it can help with the rash of them that always come with New West Fest.

4th of July Message From Hipster Shore - watch more funny videos

God Is Punishing Us For The Casey Anthony Verdict

God is super-hella-fucking pissed at us right now, America. It has to be that Casey Anthony verdict that has him so steamed. Here's what he did to Phoenix yesterday:



Nice apocalyptic dust storm, there, AZ. Remember the dust belt, anyone? I do appreciate His choice of Phoenix, though; it is my least favorite American city as well. Do you suppose that, since we are in the endtimes now, that God will destroy our cities in order of His least to most favorite? If it's true, then that's not good news for Cleveland, folks. Some more pix:

So, remember America, try not to piss of God anymore, ok? Next time we even remotely suspect that someone maybe killed their darling little kid, we'll just give 'em the chair. Sorry God. Won't happen again, bro.

*UPDATE* Nancy Grace is fucking pissed, too.

Watch This Now!

This is a timelapse video from a telescope set to be geostationary that shows the Earth rotating around it. Watch it. It's the best thing I've seen in weeks. Somehow, watching the planet rotate around you makes the feeling that we are just floating out there in space much more acute. It's indescribable. See for yourself:



The location is the VLT in Chile.

Dubstep Is For Everyone

Like I said, it's been a slow news week. So watch these old euro guys dance to dubstep, because it's funny and there's nothing else on.



Ok, I know it's an overdub but it still seems to work. The hat grab at 0:41 is fucking insane.

Memewatch 2011 - "White Whine"

Here's a helpful Venn diagram to help describe this emerging new meme, tentatively called 'First World Problems v. Real World Problems'. It's also know as 'White Whine'. It's been around on Tumblr for over 9000 weeks, but is suddenly spiking in popularity for some reason. Anyways, it's a slow news week, so here ya go:

Some moar turble first world probs after the pagebreak...

Tokyo Electric Power VS. British Petroleum In A Gross Incompetence-off!!!

Let the debate begin! Which fucktarded energy company mishandled their self-inflicted 'disaster' with greater buffoonery, venery, finger pointing, and general total disregard for anyone or anything? (and if you think Tokyo Electric's nuclear accident wasn't self-inflicted, guess again -- they built it four and a half miles from one of the worlds most volatile faultlines. Brilliant. Was it because there no space left inside Mount Pinatubo?) Lets do a fun timeline...

Day 1 BP oil claims their platform blew up and they are leaking a small amount of oil. Their blowout preventer failed, and they just need to get it back online.

Day 1 Tokyo Electric claims that there is a small problem with their reactors. Their cooling pump malfunctioned, and they just need to get it back online.

Day 5 BP-News reports come out showing oil spewing all over the gulf killing sea animals, birds and slow-moving enviromentalists. They fail to get the blowout preventer online.

Day 5 TEP- New reports come out showing that their "small leak" is actually spewing radiation all over Japan, with reactors all over the plant leaking water, catching fire and blowing up. They fail to get the pumps online.

Day 7 BP- BP executive begin pumping sea water and heavy mud into the pipe in a failed attempt to stop the flow. BP execs admit they don't know what the fuck they're doing.

Day 7 TEP-Tokyo Electric begins pumping sea water into their reactors in an effort to cool them. The sea water leaks out or misses and the plan fails. Tokyo Electric execs admit they don't know what the fuck they're doing.

Day 13 BP- Tony whats-his-name proposes a "junk shot" shooting a bunch of shit into the pipe in a desperate to contain the oil. The plan is not approved, because it is stupid.

Day 13 TEP-Tokyo Electric proposes dumping a bunch of sand into the reactors in a desperate attempt to contain the radiation. The plan is not approved, because it is stupid.

Day 19 BP-Oil begins appearing all over the coasts and the leak is magnitudes worse than initially reported. The gulf coast is fucked for decades. Tens of billions of dollars are lost.

Day 19 TEP-Well, thats tomorrow, so who knows? Maybe some good news?