Please Watch Before Visiting America

Some sweet Engrish instructional videos for Japanese tourists coming to the good ol' USA. I like how the guy in the first one appears to be wearing a bra on his head, which of course means that he is gang affiliated.



I hope that the dance is also involved when you utilize this next one:



And finally this one is for after you inevitably end up blowing somebody away (a common occurence in our great nation):

Beware Saruman's Wily Magicks

Obama Is Gay Satan (I Think)

A driver in Oregon snapped this photo today of the rear end of a camper van containing a citizen clearly on his way somewhere important, like a job interview probably, and sticking it to the man the whole way there. His assertion that the President is uncircumcised queer Satan is most shocking, certainly. Mostly though, I respect the fact that someone is using the old school 'back of your car' method for deliviring questionable political, religious, and sexual beliefs instead of the new school 'Intenet' which already has 10  terrabytes devoted to Obama is Gay Satan, presumably.

Happy Fourth Of July (two days ago)!!!

This message arrives a little late to have much of an impact on this year's fourth of july's drunken biking offenses, but maybe it can help with the rash of them that always come with New West Fest.

4th of July Message From Hipster Shore - watch more funny videos

God Is Punishing Us For The Casey Anthony Verdict

God is super-hella-fucking pissed at us right now, America. It has to be that Casey Anthony verdict that has him so steamed. Here's what he did to Phoenix yesterday:



Nice apocalyptic dust storm, there, AZ. Remember the dust belt, anyone? I do appreciate His choice of Phoenix, though; it is my least favorite American city as well. Do you suppose that, since we are in the endtimes now, that God will destroy our cities in order of His least to most favorite? If it's true, then that's not good news for Cleveland, folks. Some more pix:

So, remember America, try not to piss of God anymore, ok? Next time we even remotely suspect that someone maybe killed their darling little kid, we'll just give 'em the chair. Sorry God. Won't happen again, bro.

*UPDATE* Nancy Grace is fucking pissed, too.

Watch This Now!

This is a timelapse video from a telescope set to be geostationary that shows the Earth rotating around it. Watch it. It's the best thing I've seen in weeks. Somehow, watching the planet rotate around you makes the feeling that we are just floating out there in space much more acute. It's indescribable. See for yourself:



The location is the VLT in Chile.

Dubstep Is For Everyone

Like I said, it's been a slow news week. So watch these old euro guys dance to dubstep, because it's funny and there's nothing else on.



Ok, I know it's an overdub but it still seems to work. The hat grab at 0:41 is fucking insane.

Memewatch 2011 - "White Whine"

Here's a helpful Venn diagram to help describe this emerging new meme, tentatively called 'First World Problems v. Real World Problems'. It's also know as 'White Whine'. It's been around on Tumblr for over 9000 weeks, but is suddenly spiking in popularity for some reason. Anyways, it's a slow news week, so here ya go:

Some moar turble first world probs after the pagebreak...

The Internet Is Made Of Cats

Here is the proof:

Oh Noes! Internet Superhero Chris Hansen Gets Caught Cheating!

Pedobear finally gets his revenge

Chris Hansen has been caught sexing it up with some Florida skank! And not with a 13 year old that he met on the Internetz, 'cause that would just be too perfect. Yes, it's true, and if le Haineux is your only source of news, then you heard it here first; Chris Hansen, star of the Internet's favorite television show, To Catch A Predator, got himself caught hooking up with some 30 year old floozy homewrecker news anchor. For your consideration:

I love love love that they caught him on hidden camera. Thank you Jesus, for the National Enquirer. So, in case you didn't know, Chris Hansen is an immensely popular meme on the net, probably due to the fact that TCAP was the first TV show to really use the internet in it's format. This event has caused a lulzwave so epical that it might drown Japan (too soon?) For your contemplation:

Sooo much moar after the break....