What?! America has been fallin' behind in recent years, but who would ever think our exceptional way of life would take this much of a slide. Pretty sure one party out there isn't pleased to know about this factoid. America isn't anywhere near in first place when it comes to capital punishment. China is kicking some serious booty on this one, and as Americans we need to get back to our ass-kicking roots. let's face it. When you're not killing those who have killed...you've got a "ass-kickin'" image issue that needs to be resolved as soon as possible.
Look, we've got China, Iran, North Korea, AND Yemen (Yemen for fuck's sake!) who are all beating us at the capital punishment game. And we're supposed to be the capitalists...not pussies. What's next? Are we going to let Libya and Saudi Arabia take over our current place of fifth? Clearly, if we let the Jeffrey Dahmers have their way in America we'll lose everything we've fought for, and we'll end up with a woman President who will pacify everything that is great and magnificant in America. Will we stand idle and watch our greatness fall when it comes to the art of murdering the murderers? Call your congressional representative now and express to them your frustration over not enough killing in our prisons, and demand an increase in capital punishment especially if you're an "Old Testament" kind of Christian. Let's bring America back to the forefront! Wave that flag next time we fry another inmate! Be Proud...BE AMERICAN!!
Actually, make it 47. AZ just fried one yesterday, according to the Daily Beast. Here we come, Yemen!
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